We just returned from a village in the countryside, three hours north of Beijing. This was my daughter Maddie’s 5th grade “spring trip” — 16 boys (mostly Korean) and 10 girls. Miss Martins and Miss Hendricks asked me to join their trip to coach the boys.I enjoyed all the things not found in the city: blue skies, fresh [clean] breezes, grass, birds, and trees — but more than that, I thoroughly enjoyed observing these boys and their distinctly-Asian culture. It is so interesting. They are “group” and not just a bunch of individuals. I can’t describe it well, except that they are unconsciously in tune with their group. Whether they are making jokes, playing cards, or rock climbing — they are together in it all.I really like it — I secretly wish I grew up in a group like theirs: it is a genuine fraternity. On the other hand, in America, boys and men seem distinctly individual and less relational one to the other; having more concern about themselves and their own success.

You should see how these Korean boys talk, laugh, play, hang on shoulders, even walking arm-in-arm — and there is no hint or connotation of being “gay” as would be the criticism if they lived in the US.I think we Westerners could learn a lot from this, maybe there would be less busy-but-lonely-people.